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Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Drink your Coffee! There are people in India sleeping.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.

90% of all statistics are made up.

3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.

A day for firm decisions! Or is it?

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.

A day without sunshine is like night.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.

Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.

Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing

Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.

Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.

Clones are people two.

Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

Do not put statements in the negative form.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Friction can be a drag sometimes.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

I couldn't care less about apathy.

I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.

I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!

I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?

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Rated: 3.1 out of 5 Stars / Views: 1,446 / Votes: 880 / Shares: 3

Submitted on: 27 December 1998 by Ropa
Joke ID: 1254

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