This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not - and made the web department take it down immediately.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. _ Mr. _ Mrs. _ Ms. _ Miss _ Lt. _ Gen. _ Comrade_ Classified _ Other
First Name: ......................................................
Initial: ........ Last Name:...........................................
Password: ................... (max 8 char)
Code Name:............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_ F-14 Tomcat
_ F-15 Eagle
_ F-16 Falcon
_ F-117A Stealth
_ Classified
3. Date of purchase (Y/M/D): 19....... / ....... / .......
4. Serial Number: .................................................
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
_ Received as gift / aid package
_ Catalog showroom
_ Independent arms broker
_ Mail order
_ Discount store
_ Government surplus
_ Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
_ Heard loud noise, looked up
_ Store display
_ Espionage
_ Recommended by friend / relative / ally
_ Political lobbying by manufacturer
_ Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
_ Style / appearance
_ Speed / maneuverability
_ Price / value
_ Comfort / convenience
_ Kickback / bribe
_ Recommended by salesperson
_ McDonnell Douglas reputation
_ Advanced Weapons Systems
_ Backroom politics
_ Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
_North America _ Central / South America _ Aircraft carrier _ Europe _ Middle East _ Africa _ Asia / Far East _ Misc. Third World countries _ Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
_ Color TV
_ VCR
_ ICBM
_ Killer Satellite
_ CD Player
_ Air-to-Air Missiles
_ Space Shuttle
_ Home Computer
_ Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)
_ Communist / Socialist
_ Terrorist
_ Crazed
_ Neutral
_ Democratic
_ Dictatorship
_ Corrupt
_ Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
_ Deficit spending
_ Cash
_ Suitcases of cocaine
_ Oil revenues
_ Personal check
_ Credit card
_ Ransom money
_ Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
_ Homemaker
_ Sales / marketing
_ Revolutionary
_ Clerical
_ Mercenary
_ Tyrant
_ Middle management
_ Eccentric billionaire
_ Defense Minister / General
_ Retired
_ Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
_ Golf
_ Boating / sailing
_Sabotage
_ Running / jogging
_ Propaganda / disinformation
_Destabilization / overthrow
_ Default on loans
_ Gardening
_Cults
_ Black market / smuggling
_ Collectibles / collections
_ Watching sports on TV
_ Interrogation / torture
_ Household pets
_ Crushing rebellions
_ Espionage / reconnaissance
_ Fashion clothing
_ Border disputes
