Choose Your Preferred Rating
 
 



Amazingly Simply Home Recipies


1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

--In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. --If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. --If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the Day:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES ..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING ... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.


Rate This Joke
 
Share With Friends
 
Rated: 2.9 out of 5 Stars / Views: 26,078 / Votes: 9,619 / Shares: 80
 

Submitted on: 4 October 2007 by Wonder
Joke ID: 2179


Report an Issue


Select Issue Category:
Describe the Issue:
(Note each item page has an ID located on the page, please use this ID if the issue is specific to a particular item.)
Your Name: *Optional
Your Email: *Optional

Send Email to a Friend


Your Name:
Send to Email: *Separate multiple email addresses with a semicolon
Add a message: