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You Know You Are In Texas in July When ...

• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground
• The trees are whistling for the dogs
• The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
• Hot water now comes out of both taps
• You can make sun tea instantly
• You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
• The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly
• You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car
• You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door
• You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state
• The potatos cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs
• The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.

God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!