If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and plans don't have a row 13, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot..
What a nice night for an evening.
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
I live on a one-way dead-end street.
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks-I'm not going that far."
Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
