Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that start something like this:
Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"
Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to "The Internet."
Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah." Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."
Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon." Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because of the icons-I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: click
Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: pause"Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
