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The Realities of Love

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. -Tim Allen

Never date a woman whose father calls her "Princess." Chances are she believes it. - Anonymous

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer. -Rita Mae Brown

One girl I was dating said "Come on over. There's nobody home" I went over. Nobody was home. -Rodney Dangerfield

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternization with the enemy. -Henry Kissinger

Do you know what it means to come home at might to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. -George Burns

Love is a fire. But whether is it going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. -Joan Crawford

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.

The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

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