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Redneck Thanksgiving

  • You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
  • Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
  • You've ever re-used a paper plate.
  • If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
  • If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
  • On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
  • Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
  • Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
  • Your stuffings secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
  • Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
  • Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
  • You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
  • The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
  • You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
  • You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
  • Your secret family recipe is illegal.
  • You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.

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