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You Know You Are In Texas in July When ...

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground
  • The trees are whistling for the dogs
  • The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps
  • You can make sun tea instantly
  • You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly
  • You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car
  • You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door
  • You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state
  • The potatos cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs
  • The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.

God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!

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Rated: 3.0 out of 5 Stars / Views: 1,324 / Votes: 785 / Shares: 0

Submitted on: 3 October 2006 by HNIC
Joke ID: 2035

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